Separateness

"A theology of separation has created a society of separation".  I call it the adolescence of humanity.  First we need to find out who we are as individuals and break away on our own, just like we did in our teens and 20's.  I think it's time to start coming back together.  Are you wondering how you can do everything you have to do  all by yourself?  After 10 years of living alone, I know that the next stage of growth is learning to bring my SELF, my gifts, who I am,  to live compatibly with others.  There is no end to the differences we can find if we focus in that way. But each of us is a thread in a beautiful tapestry that is humanity.  When I think of tapestry I think of one of my Facebook friends, Sarah Haskell.  Facebook is a tapestry of our friends.  We get glimpses into the lives of others that we never before had.  We can enjoy the brief connections or go deeper.  Technology is bringing us together in a way that has never before been possible.  What will we do with this opportunity??  Just know that it has the possibility of creating more understanding, tolerance, and peace. The survival and well being of humanity and our beautiful planet depend on it.

The Peace of Wild Things by Wendall Barry

When despair for the World grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound,
in fear of what my life
and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light.
For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
                                                                                  
                                                                                    — Wendell Berry

STAY!

I woke up after a good night's rest, and once again picked up Geneen Roth's book "Women, Food, and God".  For a while now, I have been stuck on the chapter "Never Underestimate the Inclination to Bolt".  I find many things to do other than reading these days.  I check e-mail, go on-line, make phone calls, watch tv, play scrabble or Words with Friends on my iPad.  Or I create a mess in my kitchen or a mess in my mind. All this to escape the worrying, and the feeling of being frightened out of my mind. Anything to distract me from feeling what I'm feeling these days.  Which is exactly what Geneen's book is about!  Even though the main focus of the book is about weight, it speaks to exactly what is going on with me.  I don't want to feel what I'm feeling, and face what I'm facing, so I distract myself or as she puts it "bolt" from myself.

Many years ago at a workshop with Oriah Mountain Dreamer (you might have read her poem "The Invitation), she took us through a deep meditation to find what she calls "our one word".  The process blew my mind.  As we went deep into an imaginary and beautiful underworld, the word "STAY" kept getting in the way of where my mind was taking me.  I wanted to go back to that meditative beautiful place, but a billboard went up (in my mind) with the word "STAY" on it.  I tried to get around it but couldn't.  Then it hit me, this was my word!!!  But what did it mean???  I wanted some flowery word like: grace, beauty, compassion, love, or peace.  But instead I got "STAY".  I assumed that for me it meant, to stay with myself.  To not runaway from who I am.  But I've continued to run, and probably faster and faster every year.

So, this morning I'm reading Geneen's book. Every line in this chapter speaks to me and then she starts talking about what it means to stay.

"When you stay, you question what you've never questioned:  the you you take yourself to be.  The you who is not your past, not your habits, not your compulsions.  Anything becomes possible.  Even living through extraordinary pain."

We all have ways of bolting from our own lives, with either drugs, alcohol, food, work, sex, money, internet, religion, or denial. We love to distract ourselves by watching other people's lives (reality TV), or obsessing over our kid's lives, or our spouses life, or our friends life.  And of course, a favorite distraction is complaining about what our government is doing wrong, or condemning other people.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get off on a tangent.  But all that we are exposed to is just too much. We can't take it all in.  Every day we hear about terrible things going on in the world.  Prior to the communication revolution, we only knew what was going on in our own little place in the world, and that was enough.  This morning I woke up, turned on my computer to do some writing and I'm faced with the headline "Huge Quake and Tsunami Hit Japan".  I'm immediately devastated by this news. How many people have died??  What is happening with our planet??  I feel helpless.

My problems are so big one moment, and the next moment so small.  As my money disappears, my fear increases and I find that I'm distracting myself rather than going into the fire.  I have to get through this challenging time with my mom, and my finances, and my fears about the World. Yes, I feel embarrassed, stupid, dysfunctional.  Yes, I made many mistakes and could have done things different.  Yes, I've had bad things happen to me, and terrible things happen in our World.  But I am who I am.  Without money I'm still me.  Aren't I?????

As Deepak Chopra tweeted yesterday "The sole cause of death is birth".

I am here on this earth today. I will survive until I die.  I will live my best life today.

I'm sending prayers to all effected by the devastation in Japan.  And sending love to all of you, who walk with me on this sometimes treacherous path of life.  Let's walk towards each other and ourselves, and not run away.

Waking the Sleeping Giant

I thought I'd take a moment today to update everyone on my "Rescue Me" project.  Things are moving slowly, but they are moving.  I was greatly motivated by the Integrative Nutrition Conference in Miami.  I came back more committed than ever to being a Health Coach.  At the same time, I will be getting my resume out to Fitness Centers, Health Centers, etc. to see if there are any actual job possibilities.  However, with my responsibilities to managing my mom's life, I'm still nervous about taking any kind of full time position.  But I'm going fishing in any case.  One never knows where the next opportunity will be.

For today I'm going to practice sharing about my Health Coaching business.

As many of you know, I've been studying fitness, yoga, nutrition, health, healing and transformation, for probably 20 years now.  Many of my friends and family think I'm a little crazy, but I'm more than grateful for all that I've learned.  I feel younger and more vibrant now than I did 20 years ago.  Yet I'm far from perfect and I still have so much to learn.  The education of Catherine will never stop.  I also still have so much to do:  write my resume, finish my brochure, redo my website, print off materials, design workshops, and of course, write my book :).

But each day that goes by, I'm missing sharing all that I've learned with others.  I have the knowledge, the experience, the compassion, and the commitment to support others in having greater health and energy in their lives.  Whether it's the need to let go of stress, get trimmer, more fit, or heal from the many conditions that plague us as we age, I can offer cutting edge information, tools, and most of all great support, to get to you to your healthiest you, once and for all.  And I know how to do this without sacrifice and misery. Believe it or not, what I can provide will actually be more fun and bring more joy to your life. 

Because I can't wait to do the work I believe I am meant to do, I'm putting this out to all my friends.  Help yourself, as you help me jumpstart my health coaching business.  Contact me to set up a free health consult and if you decide to work with me you will get an amazing deal.  We can work, by phone, Skype, or in person, depending on where you are.  Or you can organize your own group to work with me, which will be even more cost effective for you.  Wow, this sounds so sales pitchy, but I don't know how else to offer this gift of better health.  We need all the strength we can muster these days to deal with the challenges of life.  You matter!!!   I'll still love you whether you do this or not.  You can contact me through Facebook, my website catherinecrocket.com, my e-mail cathyoga1@yahoo.com, or phone 508-272-2181.

A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

When I posted this picture on Facebook yesterday, I was startled by the reaction it got. This photograph is now traveling around the World to who knows where. Many eyes will see it and stare at it with wonderment.

On this walk through the woods, I stopped along the path and looked at the light and patterns around me. Then with my camera I began to explore what I was seeing more closely. And then a whole new world opened up.

This photo represents a way of being in life that I strive for. I guess I would call it "going deeper into the experience of life". We've all heard the expression "stop and smell the roses", but that doesn't hold our attention for long.

In our society, there is no time to stop. These days most of us are moving very fast through life. We drive in cars, fly thousands of miles in a day, surf the internet, exercise fast, talk fast, eat fast, listen fast, think even faster, and rarely do we stop and absorb what is happening in this very moment.

There are moments in life when nature is putting on a show that will never happen again in that same way. And there are moments in life where some person, or your child, or even your own self, wants or needs your attention (listening, watching, touching, loving, or just being) and that moment will never happen again in that same way. I am painfully aware that I can never go back and capture those lost moments. All I can do is capture a moment today, and today and today.

It takes practice to slow down these days. We think surely we will miss something. But no, surely we will see something, and it could make all the difference.