Stay with me

Something interesting happens when fear takes over me and I see no way out of a crisis.  I become frozen and unable to move.  This is a terrifying feeling, because it happens at a time when you most need to be taking action.

This is strange, because I can honestly say that if something happened to someone else and they needed help, I would probably jump into action.  So I don't really understand why I am so paralyzed at the moment.

I am working at regaining my strength, but I'm having to reach out to others for support.  I feel like I have no oxygen, and someone else needs to put the oxygen mask on me.  I can keep going and keep working, but I just need some love, encouragement and support.  It is such an odd feeling.  I'm broken, sad, defeated and feel so alone in my predicament.  I'm certain that I am somehow meant to go through this, so that I can better speak and help others who don't know where to begin.

It feels similar to what happens to people when they are choking.  I was trained that if you see someone choking and they get up and go toward the rest room, you should follow them.  People in our culture are so embarrassed when something goes very wrong, that they want to run and hide.  Yet that is when they are in dire need of help from others.  I want to run and hide right now!  Please don't let me disappear.  I'm not dead yet.  I just have to get through this tough spell and get back on my feet.  Stay with me now, and you can be sure I will be there for you in your time of need.