As I entered the decade of my 60's, I often reflected on what my life would have been like "if"? There were so many twists and turns in my life. Every decision can effect the whole future of your existence. What if I had gone to a different college, taken a different job, gone on a different trip, or not answered a particular personal ad (back in 1988). Every person you meet, every corner you turn, opens up new (or no) possibilities.

Facebook enabled me to reconnect with old friends and boyfriends from long ago. I saw their lives unfold before me, the spouses they had (or had had), the children they raised, the careers they followed, and the journeys they took. Some of those journeys could have been mine if I had made different choices.

Some of my reflections were sad and wistful. I truly could have had a different life. In fact I could have had many, many different lives. Every day and every moment can change the path forward.  My favorite saying from the title of Dr. Seuss's book is "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"

Now after all these many years, I'm paying more attention to the choices I make each day. I'm changing my tune, and following my heart. Which means I'm trusting my self and my own instincts. There is so much freedom in this.

Today I'm listening to Elizabeth Gilberts book "Big Magic". If you haven't read it, you must. I love her discussion about being a martyr or a trickster. It will rock your world, especially if you are like me and tend to suffer through life.

Perhaps all that suffering brought me to where I am today. I have tremendous compassion for all beings. I'm fascinated by human nature and keep learning and growing as the human I am. Not giving up on myself or life has brought me here. I have much to create and while I know I will struggle with my deep rooted conditioning of the past, I see so much light ahead now. And I'm grateful for all I have learned.

There is a lot in what I wrote above, that could be expanded on and certainly better written. But I'm just getting things out.  Otherwise no one will know what is in the vast experiences of my mind.